We're curious about 'cringe'

Last week we talked about the courage to stay in the sandpit. To keep going when the gap between where you are and where you want to be feels wide. To trust that quantity eventually makes way for quality. To choose, actively, to stay in it even when it's uncomfortable and uncertain.

This week, a word kept coming up that we think is one of the biggest things that pulls people out of the sandpit too soon.

Cringe.

It feels a bit cringe.
I don't want to be cringe.

And it has to be said, first and foremost, this fear of cringe makes complete sense. Every generation has its version of this, when you think about it. A try-hard. Corny. Daggy. Different terms, but the feeling underneath it all is universal and timeless — the specific social dread of being seen trying. Of being caught with your whole heart in something, or your passion and enthusiasm on show. 

What has changed today are the conditions. Social media hasn't invented this type of self-consciousness, it's simply taken a very understandable human experience and amplified it into something that feels overwhelming and relentless. When the potential for scrutiny feels infinite and anonymity makes judgment feel consequence-free, it makes complete sense that people pull back. For all its positives, the internet can certainly be a wild west of keyboard warriors and borrowed cynicism.

Poet and professor Ocean Vuong has spent eleven years in the classroom watching exactly this play out:

Let's double-click on this idea of sincerity. Because what does cringe actually point to, beneath all the self-consciousness and social noise?

It probably means you're being vulnerable. You're giving something a go. Following a curiosity, a calling, or a quirk that makes you you, even when it doesn't make obvious sense to anyone else. You're being seen trying before something is polished, before the skill has caught up with the vision. Or you're simply embracing your weird and leaning into something that captures your interests and imagination.

It's exposing. And it's also what being a human is all about, especially if we want to squeeze the most out of our time on earth.

We define authenticity at Mojo as 'the courage to be me.' To own the quirks, the imperfections, the passions that don't always sit neatly in the mainstream. And the beautiful knock-on effect of authenticity is that, when you embrace your weird, you give other people permission to do the same.

There's a distinction we return to often when it comes to building Self-Confidence: fitting in versus belonging.

Fitting in asks you to edit yourself into whatever the room seems to want. Belonging is something different. It's showing up as you are, and trusting that's enough.

There will always be people who don't understand. People who judge, make unfair assumptions, or feel confronted by someone else's courage or confidence. But trying to control how people perceive us generates an incredible amount of unnecessary pressure and stress. That is simply not our life task.

You can't ever control the commentary.

But you can control where your focus goes, turning down the noise of what everyone else thinks and coming back to what's authentic to you.

As one of our favourite courage mantras goes: I don't care what anyone else thinks about me, but I care about them. It's what I think about myself that matters most.

So, whenever the fear of being cringe pipes up again, what if we met it with a little more curiosity? Asking:

Am I actually being true to me right now?
Am I following what genuinely lights me up, or am I playing to the room?

If the answer is yes, this is what it means to own your story. To embrace your weird. Trying is far cooler than we give it credit for.

Ready to learn more?

Todd Anderson's 'yawp' moment in Dead Poets Society is, we'd argue, one of the greatest on-screen examples of what it means to find courage and authenticity on the other side of cringe.

You can check out this brilliant scene here:

Next steps

Dive into our latest program Building Self-Confidence to discover the ultimate perspective shift: I am enough. Here, you’ll learn to embrace who you are and overcome your inner critic, unlocking the courage to live a life true to yourself.